How do we cultivate friendships?
Wow, first up I don’t have many close friendships. I haven’t had time to cultivate them properly. The ones that I do have I love dearly. I’m an introvert, I’m cautious and like many of us, I’ve been burnt more than once.
But I want them and I need them.
My husband’s one of those guys that you take to a conference with you and he’s made 15 friends by the end of the first day. I watched him recently to see what his gifts are and it’s sure been interesting. First, he’s unforgettable in a crowd. Meaning, he is slightly loud, tall, thin and with an accent that just causes people to notice. (So is this the sign that I really should get the purple streak in my hair that I’ve been secretly thinking about but won’t get because I feel like it’s distracting from my professionalism??) Second, he loves a bar. He says that he was born to sit at a bar. So he places himself smack dab in an environment where people are there to mingle. Or he congregates around the coffee in the back of the conference room. Then he just introduces himself and asks them all of these questions. At our last conference, he managed to find the one fellow farmer in the room, next thing I know I’m having a great casual dinner out with this farmer and his veterinarian wife. At a conference recently I had the opportunity to meet Forbes Riley, a luminary of a lady who has made a living selling on TV infomercials as well as being an actress. She talked about how to make people remember your name and to make yourself useful to them. Basically you need a name hook and then you need to let them know how you can be useful to them. Seems like really good advice!
But I feel like it’s more than just the ability to meet people when it comes to friendship.
Ever feel that in this life that time is no longer linear? Here’s where my guilt comes in- I’ll admit that I am not a reliable friend. That I’ve often been too busy and I’ve used that as an excuse. I have a sneaking feeling, however, that if I were a better communicative friend, that time would cease to be so herky jerky and eventually smooth out some. I’m sort of panicky that I’m letting it slide.
So, I’ve decided to do something that I’ve considered to be dorky and beneath me. I’m going to place reminders on my phone of birthdays, anniversaries and simply reminders to call.
I’m also going to find some new friends. Outside of work, and hopefully outside my profession.